


NO.

by BastardBin



Series: Winged Grian AU [1]
Category: Hermitcraft, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Grian has the self restraint of a five year old, Grian plays with redstone, Hermitcraft - Freeform, THAT button, also grian has feathered wings au but its barely mentioned like twice, and unnecessary blame put on poor innocent poultry man, chapter 2 is mumbo's reaction, this is literally just the button scene but in fanfic form, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-25 06:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19740298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BastardBin/pseuds/BastardBin
Summary: Grian likes scarpering items from Mumbo's farms for Sahara. He also likes playing with Mumbo's redstone. And he especially likes pressing buttons.Especially if they're behind red glass, surrounded in signs saying not to touch.Really, it was Mumbo's own fault, he shouldn't leave things out like that if he didn't want Grian to play with them.





	1. Chapter 1

To put it as bluntly as possible, Grian had no self control. Everyone knew it, everyone was well aware that if he saw a button, he would press it. Even if he knew he shouldn’t; hell,  _ especially _ if he knew he shouldn’t, that would always make it that much more likely that he definitely would do it. He simply couldn’t resist. It was no surprise that he regularly and consistently broke any and all redstone he tried to play with.

Leaving Grian alone with redstone was like leaving a puppy alone with your brand new refurbished living room. It wasn’t going to stay intact for long. And really, he had no qualms about admitting all of these facts openly. He just couldn’t resist, and he was awful with redstone, there wasn’t that much shame to be found in it.

Really, it was the other Hermits’ faults for leaving their tempting redstone out for him to find. They knew how he was, they should know to hide it better, or maybe try to Grian-proof it. The fact they did not do those things could not be pinned on him, really, he didn’t do anything wrong.

And listen, it’s not like he broke anything  _ this _ time. Yes, he did just break Sahara with a baked potato like, a week ago, but that was in the past! When he played with Mumbo’s farms, he didn’t break anything at all, so there was no reason for anyone to retaliate toward him whatsoever.

… Well, he was  _ mostly _ sure he probably hadn’t broken anything. Maybe.

But that’s what led him to now. Returning again to scarper more resources from Mumbo’s farms, which was completely fine since technically he was Mumbo’s boss and the farms were basically infinite anyway, was how he found his next irresistible temptation.

He tried to resist. He really, really did. He did everything Mumbo had told him to do every single time he had the urge to play with someone’s redstone; tell himself he shouldn’t, think of all the consequences that could arise from him touching it for both himself and the owner of said redstone, remind himself he shouldn’t, and then turn around and leave. Break his line of vision with the temptation. Walk away. Distract himself. He tried. He  _ did. _

He also failed.

Giving in completely to temptation, Grian practically skipped over to the button hidden behind red glass. The big warning signs saying to absolutely don’t, the words on them registering in his brain and getting completely brushed away. He hovered in front of it, looking in at the button from different angles, investigating with a tiny bit of distance like a child that definitely wasn’t sneaking for the cookie jar. He bounced on his toes, ruffling his wings, humming innocently to himself.

And then he pulled the lever, revealing the button.

All he had to do was reach in, and… No, he shouldn’t, he knew. He flipped the lever back to where it had been, replacing the glass to its proper place, and then he skipped away from the irresistible shiny button.

About two milliseconds passed.

He twirled back, pulled the lever, and pressed the button.

To say he was then hit with instant karma would be, well, it would be  _ completely accurate. _ His heart jumped out of his chest when the floor opened up and swallowed him, the confined space leaving him unable to use his wings to land safely. For that split second of falling, Grian was convinced he was going to die, his heart racing and his body going rigid from absolute panic. It felt like ages before he landed, even though realistically it was only a few blocks down, and he collapsed in an undignified heap upon reaching the bottom.

It was… incredibly cramped. One block wide and two long, he didn’t have nearly as much room as he preferred. The floor was lit with glowstone though, so at least he wasn’t in complete darkness, allowing him to read the sign above his head once he spotted it.

_ “NO.” _

Well… hm.

Yeah, he deserved this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im tempted to write a second chapter where mumbo has to rescue grian from this prison of his own creation so if you're interested in seeing that lemme know lmao


	2. It Wasn't Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mumbo knows Grian well. He knows he's never going to quit playing with redstone, and ultimately, breaking it irreparably in the process.
> 
> But on the bright side, at least it was funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here it is! i finally wrote it lmao. now we can all relish in mumbo laughing at grian being a dumbass

It was late when Mumbo shambled back into his farms, yawning. He’d been out all day, and though he’d much rather just go collapse in bed right away, it was a better idea to harvest everything once more so it would have time to grow overnight. That didn’t stop his body from aching from a long day fighting with uncooperative redstone, though, and the glowstone and sugar cane was sounding much less important compared to his bed with every passing second.

All of his fatigue vanished in an instant, though, when his eyes fell onto a certain red block of glass. Moved from its original position with a now-retracted piston, due to a lever that clearly had been messed with since Mumbo was last here. Otherwise, the room was untouched, and gave no indication whatsoever that anyone had been in here at all.

But Mumbo knew. Oh, he knew. That little block of red glass gave it all away.

His trap had been a success.

Now, he knew exactly who would have tried it out and ended up at the bottom of the pit below the floor. Sure, it could have been anyone, but it wasn’t. There was only one Hermit out of them all that would have been tempted by such an obvious ploy.

After all, really,  _ who _ in their right mind would fall for a button behind literal red glass with warning signs in all caps all around it?

Grian. That was who.

The winged builder was like a toddler set loose in a candy store when it came to redstone. Any buttons, or levers, or anything of the sort, he just  _ had _ to touch and find out what they did. There wasn’t anything malicious about it, Mumbo knew; Grian was just curious, and extremely prone to  _ somehow _ accidentally breaking redstone just by looking at it. He didn’t do it on purpose at all, even though technically the fact he did know he always broke things and still messed with them anyway could be counted as purposeful, but Mumbo didn’t really think it was like that.

No, it really was just that Grian had  _ absolutely _ no self control whatsoever.

It was quite fun, really. At least, it was fun to watch if it was someone else’s redstone Grian was breaking, or if it was something Mumbo set up specifically  _ for _ him to break, to keep him away from the things he really didn’t want him to break. When it was the things he actually cared about, oh boy, it could take hours to fix.

That’s why he set up this trap. It wouldn’t teach the builder a lesson, no, he’d go right back to his usual ways afterward. But it would remind him what  _ could _ happen if he messes with the wrong things, and  _ might _ make him think a little bit harder before touching Mumbo’s precious high tech farms again. He didn’t mind sharing the resources, not at all, but only as long as Grian  _ only _ touched the output chests and absolutely nothing else. Nothing happened this time, but he wasn’t usually that lucky, and that alone was worth reminding Grian not to touch anything.

Only one question remained, though. Did he manage to escape?

Standing off to the side of where he knew the pit was, and twisting a bit to reach the button, Mumbo retracted the pistons that would have sent Grian careening down in a panic. In the few seconds they stayed like that, he came to the conclusion that no, Grian did not manage to escape.

At the bottom of the glowstone-lined pit, Grian was sprawled awkwardly, seemingly wedged in place by the wings he’d no doubt tried to use to escape, but had just gotten himself stuck with in the small space instead. His head shot up at the sound of the pistons, though, and his face lit up when he spotted Mumbo. “Mumb--!” and then the hole closed again on its own, cutting him off completely. Mumbo laughed. This was perfect.

Taking his time, the redstoner casually searched his inventory for his pickaxe. Hmm, maybe he’d left it upstairs? From somewhere far below he could hear some distant yelling, but it was probably just the bats. Ah, there was his pickaxe, silly him not seeing it under all the stacks of redstone.

Hmm, maybe he should organize his inventory first? It was quite the mess. Man, those bats really were loud today. And they sure sounded a lot like Grian. That was probably worse than the chickens, really.

Finally, Mumbo took pity upon his trapped friend, and removed the block of floor hiding him from view. His shouting finally no longer muffled, Mumbo couldn’t keep a straight face at all, trying to muffle a snicker when Grian slumped with relief.

“I thought you were going to leave me here!” The builder cried, his expression a cross between hopeful and the guilty expression a dog has after it’s torn down the curtains.

“Hm, I’m sure.” Mumbo started mining his way down the wall, still definitely taking his time. “And  _ how _ exactly did you end up down here?”

“...uh,” Grian’s face went fully stoic, in the way of someone who knows  _ exactly _ what they did. “Listen, it’s, uh… actually a really crazy story.”

“Oh do tell, Grian. I seem to be having trouble breaking through this stone, so we totally have time for a story.” He said, while barely tapping the block under him. Grian knew exactly what he was doing, though he didn’t exactly have much room to complain.

“Okay, okay, so it started with, uh… see, I just came down to get some glowstone, right, and then I got snuck up on by a witch! See, and, uh… she wanted to ransom me for your farms, right? She was all like, ‘grr you’ve imprisoned all my friends!’ and I was like ‘I didn’t know witches had friends!’ and then, uh, she threw me down here. Cause I. Insulted her. Yeah.”

Oh this was  _ brilliant. _ Mumbo should write this as a book and give it to all the other Hermits. Doing his best to contain his laughter, and making it a whole two more blocks down, Mumbo continued to play along. “Oh dear me! And where’s she gone now?”

“I don’t know, I was down here!”

“Well, surely you’d have heard her laughing. Did she leave? Or might she be in hiding, waiting to strike me down? I can only imagine what would have happened if you hadn’t found her first, Grian. You may have saved all my farms!” As he grew closer, Mumbo could see the way Grian tried to shift uncomfortably, only to wince. Who knows how long he’s been stuck in that same position, and taking a bit more pity on him, he started to mine down a bit faster.

Not by much, though.

“Uh, yeah! Maybe she, uh, um…” There it was. There was always a moment where Grian’s imagination abandoned him, leaving him with no more direction for his crazy stories. Steeling his face, Mumbo deadpanned at him.

“Did you press the button?”

“...”

“Well?”

“...Maybe.”

With a laugh, Mumbo finally made his way to the bottom beside his friend. Grian’s face was set in that guilty poker face again, though he was still clearly appreciative as the redstoner helped him wiggle free of the stone and stand upright. He did his best to stretch his stiff wings in the small space, though he didn’t get far with it. And while he was stuck down here at Mumbo’s mercy anyway, it was a perfect time to remind him  _ exactly _ what he was in trouble for.

“Grian, you know better than to mess with my redstone. We’ve been over this.”

“Hey, someone has to stress test things! If it breaks so easily, I’m doing you a favor by finding that out early!”

“Sahara.  _ A single baked potato. _ ”

The builder set his mouth into a thin line, betraying nothing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Mumbo tapped his chin, thinking. “Okay, you clearly have learned nothing. How about… what if I start charging you diamonds for everything you break?”

That was the breaking point, it seemed. In a split second, with nothing but the sound of a rocket, Grian vanished from beside him. Mumbo looked up just in time to see him smack against the ceiling right  _ beside _ the entrance, and then another rocket before he managed to disappear into the room above. A distant call of “It wasn’t me, it was the man in the chicken costume!” and a scatter of feathers was all he left in his wake.

And Mumbo could only laugh, leaning against the wall for support as he lost it. Grian would  _ never _ learn his lesson, it seemed, but at least it would never cease being funny, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor poultry man gets all the blame


End file.
